Why is it so hard. I just wanted a normal relationship with him. 

But no. 



Cool. I’m alone again while he’s downstairs with his family. I feel like I’m being ignored. 

Sorry I’m tired and don’t want to be around your loud family. This is the life of an introvert. I can’t handle being around this many people for a long period of time. 

Especially when the last time they were here, I was alone for more than 3 hours. 

Like wtf?

I Don’t Understand. Why Now?

I Don’t Understand.

Why Now?

It’s like I’m trying to feel something.


I can’t even seem to manage a tear tonight when any other night it’s just too easy.

All that I can figure out is anger and rage.

Maybe it’s finally time.

To not be crying every night and just be pissed at the world again.

I honestly don’t know anymore.

Sometimes It’s All Just Too Much

I remember why I took a break from dating.Β My condition never really helped whenever I was in a relationship.Β I’d overreact and get upset over nothing or get insanely mad over the simplest things. Maybe I never really went out with the right person or it just wasn’t the right time for me.

For some unknown reason, it’s all different this time around. It could be that I’m older now or maybe because I’ve actually learned to love myself first before I can love anyone else.

The little things that used to bother me…. I couldn’t care less about.Β I know I deserve respect and honesty. Just like everyone else does. Basically… I’m falling andΒ I don’t remember ever being this happy in my life. It’s just nice knowing that someone actually cares for me.


It really sucks when you start missing someone.

It’s like.. You’re talking to them at the current moment. Then you remember you can’t actually be with them right now. You miss it.. Wishing you could be there now. Like right now 😦

I know this is supposed to get easier but it really isn’t. It’s actually getting harder each day that I’m without him. This is so friggin bad. I’m falling way too hard lol

I might just break down but I’m really trying to stay positive at the moment. Because if I don’t… All hell will break loose. And no one wants that. Especially me. I’m trying to keep it together. Anxiety usually wins though. It’s not easy.